Baked Bovine...of Doom!!!!!!!!!
by Fish in a Bear Suit
Summary: Bet you didn't know that Zim was allergic to sausage, did ya? (And whoever kept deleting my stories, please stop!!!!!)


Hello!  It's me!!!!  I got a spiffy idea for a Zim fanfic so I'm writing it…*smiles*

*ten minutes later*

My mouth hurts…I'm gonna stop smiling now…*stops smiling*

And remember…I own nothing…I doesn't own Zim, or GIR, or Dib, or Gaz, or anyone else.  Well…I own a pen that I bought from the machines at my school media center.  But I bought that with my mom's quarter, so it doesn't count.  It's really her pen.  So don't sue me cuz I have no money.  All I have is a pen that isn't mine.  SO DON'T TAKE IT!!!

            Once upon a time, there was an alien named Zim (but you already knew that, didn't you?).  SO…this alien was sitting on his "earth" couch (that came from the floating head people from Mars…it was purple and orange, but enough about that…).  He was watching TV when a robot dressed as a deformed green dog fell on his head.  

"GIR!!!  What the *censored for the virgin eyes of the kiddies* is going on?"

"I dunno…why don't you ask the thing at the door?"  The robot giggled.  

            The alien, already wearing his disguise, got up and opened the door.  After looking around, he looked down (which wasn't too far to look).  On his door step was a pile of sausages.  He looked inside to see GIR (the robot, if you haven't guessed by now) rolling on the floor laughing.  Zim picked up the sausages and closed the door.  

            "Sausages?  Bratwurst?  What is THIS?  Zim MUST know…"

            "There's no bratwurst in that pile, you silly mongoose.  CAN I BE A MONGOOSE YET?  I baked you a cow!!!!!"

            "Yes…I will look into your baked bovine…OF DOOM!!!!  But first I must analyze this sausage…"

*Later…in Zim's lab…*

            "This type of sausage contains a chemical, which has been proven to be an allergen of all Irkens…"

            "Huh?"  said Zim, looking up with a string of sausages hanging out of his mouth.

            His computer was getting audibly annoyed.  "It means…that you're stupid.  You just ate something that could kill you.  Dumb-leg."

            Zim spat out a mouthful of sausage.  "Whu—I wasn't listening?"

            "You smell like limburger cheese on month-old beans."

            Zim blushed.  "You noticed…"

*The next day, at Skool*

            "MS. BITTERS!!!!"

            "What does your big head want, Dib?  It's Skool-wide 'don't annoy your teacher year.'  You're annoying me."

            "Zim is turning orange.  And he's lying on the floor.  And he's wheezing."  Then he added, to himself, "I didn't know he had lungs."

            Ms. Bitters sighed.  Then she said flatly, "Zim take the hall pass. Go to the nurse's office.  Do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars."

            Zim crawled over to her desk.  

            "The flashy-necklace hall pass thingy has disappeared, so you must take the surrogate hall pass."  

            Zim looked at the yellow '60's VW Bug with "Hall Pass" spray-painted in red on the top, and shuddered.  

*3 Hours Later*

            Zim had made it to the nurse's office.  Beatles' music was blaring from a stereo on the desk, which a girl was behind.  She looked to be no older than 15 with brown hair and brown eyes, wearing a black shirt that said "What if the Hokey-Pokey really is what it's all about?" and a grin that was plastered on her face looking fake, but not quite, said "Word to your mother, my Homey G Funk Dawg.  Oldschool to the forty.  What sickness did you fake to get out what class?"

 (A/N:  Shameless, no?  BTW, you all know who the girl is.  Come on…you know…)

            "I…think….I'm…allerg…ik…to…saw…sujes…" (If you need help hearing it, think Zim doing the wheelchair kid from Malcolm in the Middle…)

            "Sausage allergies are on your left, down the hall, fourth door on the right.  Follow that hallway until you reach the fifth door on your wrong.  I mean left.  You can't miss it." 

            Zim started dragging his hall pass.  "Oh, you can put your hall pass in a cubby."  Zim kept dragging it. 

            "Whatever.  CHICKENS WILL REIGN SUPREME OVER CATS AND FROGS!!!!!!! (Thank you, Angie!)"  And she went back to drawing.

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Okay…I'm done for now.  Know what?…I won't think of a "next chapter".  If you decide to review, then tell me what should happen next.  Please?  I'm too lazy to continue the story.  Okeedokee…danke!


End file.
